I wonder if there was a time when you sat down with your ‘have it all plan’ and scored each of the boxes – you know, the boxes that say health, good looks, perfect job, wonderful man (or woman) and a whole raft of other nice to haves. Would there be a priority order or a mark out of 10? And how might you balance motherhood with career, or health with adventure?
You don’t need me to tell you that the search for ‘having it all’ is a myth. How often have you come across someone with what seems like the perfect life only to discover that it was all a sham.
How do you strike a balance between all of the things that you desire (having it all) with reality?
What is balance then?
Balance is a range of things equally distributed. A tightrope walker, the rope, balancing pole and the focus. In other words, the goal we are striving for and the factors that shape the journey, where all factors become inputs towards delivering the result – namely, the goal. It is a relationship that is struck between all of these things. It is about when and where to put your attention, which part of the balancing act needs your focus, which is the priority at any given time. Striking balances requires constant feedback from all of its factors, where communication, perspective and being in tune with conditions around them and you are key.
Having it all is not showing off to others and pretending that everything is perfect. It is about knowing what’s important to you at any given time and balancing that against the external forces that pull you towards something that is not based in reality.
Let’s be positive
You can have it all. You can, if you know what all the component parts of your ‘have it all’ equation are, which parts are a priority, when and what resources you need to keep everything flowing in the right direction.
You can have it all if you know what ‘all’ is and it is connected to your values, vision, passion and purpose. When you are truly connected to who you are, you can have it all because you know what you want and aren’t living to some ideal set by anyone else.
Having it all changes
Can you remember striving for your first job and getting there and thinking hmm – where next? What is my next fabulous role? How much will I be paid? What are the rewards? What can I buy with my dosh? Then, as life and priorities change you want the best school for the kids, or pet friendly hotels. Until, eventually, life in the fast lane slows down and you fancy disappearing into the sunset with your campervan for a year’s sabbatical.
When you look at having it all as a moving feast that changes as your life and needs change, then yes, you can have it all – your way.
- Step back now, discard the rubbish or clear the decks of the things clouding your view and consider the vision you want for today and moving forward.
- What makes up your having it all equation?
- What do you need to balance with what?
Look at all of these things at every stage of your life and choose to have it all. So get out there and grab every opportunity.